|
I thought it was pretty funny that people are doing Thriller dances en masse... no one I know around here though, so my indepth knowledge of the dance is untapped. Darn.
I was just trying to find a local yoga studio to go to. I think I need to do a lot more yoga- I am tired all the time. My doctor ordered a sleep study because maybe I am not getting enough REM sleep, which makes some sense. I sleep all the time but I never feel rested, and I keep forgetting everything.
What is kind of annoying is whenever I go to the doctor with symptoms of any kind they are always like, well it could be because of depression. No shit, but I know the difference, and I'm not depressed. I guess it's just easier for them to blame it on your mind.
I was looking at this stupid website about how SSRIs like Prozac are dangerous and cause people to be homocidial, and how they caused the Columbine shootings. Apparently there are people out there who want to make them illegal. Ugh. And there are these yoga people who think that you can just "find what the underlying problem is" and work on it through breath excercises or whatever. Ok these people annoy me because the underlying problem is a chemical imbalance in my brain, which I need the medication to fix! Therapsits are little help either, you can talk about your childhood for years but that won't fix the chemicals in your brain. Only medication will do that. It really would be a shame if they managed to make drugs which have helped so many people get their lives back illegal, because a few people have gone off the deep end (which may be why they were prescribed these meds to begin with? Maybe they're a little unbalanced? Besides, you aren't supposed to give SSRIs to children or teens because they can cause bad side effects like worse depression)
Anyway that is my rant for now. Back to work. |
|
That's kind of disturbing to me. I mean, a Master's degree means nothing anymore.
I am still trying to figure out the education system for educators. I applied to the Behavior-Learning Disabiltiies Certificate program, which is at the Master's level but is a "preliminary teaching certificate" whatever that means. At least I don't really care because I am tutoring privately so it really doesn't matter, but it is nice to know what you can do with your education. Ah, the young idealistic me who got a B.A. in Women's Studies, not caring whether that translated into an actual occupation. (Well I suppose 1/2 of my occupation now is "wife" so in some ways it did prepare me for that... there will be a lot of cleaning...I do wonder how women manage to have full-time occupations, husbands (or wives), and children. I mean, it is a lot of work taking care of a house with a guy who was mostly raised by his dad and is completely unconcerned with whether the laundry gets done. Oh well, at least he makes a lot of money so I can sit around doing laundry. I never did want to have to work full-time. I've always been somewhat of a homebody. Life seems more livable when you can nap in the middle of the day.)
Anyway, I had to defer my enrollment until Fall because they didn't tell me I was in the program until like 2 weeks ago, and classes started today, so I didn't really have time to get my immunizations taken care of. Also, David and I are planning a trip to Disneyworld in August and it's hard to miss Summer classes because they cover a lot (not that I would be particularly worried about it, but the professers might).
By the way I took a Facebook IQ test which says my IQ is 148, so I guess I am a genius. At least according to Facebook, whatever that's worth.
|
|
I asked one of my students today what he wanted to be (he's 8) and he said he didn't know, to which I replied, "I don't know either," to which he replied, "but you're already grown up." Sigh.
I will have a new tutoring client (age 10) this Summer, with whom I am going to work on writing, so I should probably work on my own writing by posting more. Since starting my tutoring business I agonize more over every email I type, so it takes me a long time. If I don't go back and read what I type my grammar sometimes ends up very strange.
This tutoring stuff is a lot harder than it really should be, but I don't really know what else to do with myself at this point. No one is really hiring social workers except hospitals, and I could possibly get a barista job but I'm not sure that's the best route for my future. At least this way I can say I was doing something related to social work if I do ever get my PhD, and maybe they'll let me teach at the University level. I don't know. I keep trying to picture my dream job but I can't. I wonder if I would be happy doing anything at all? I'm not happy when I have no job- this is better than lying around the house watching endless episodes of What Not To Wear (which I kind of still do sometimes).
I don't know if I'm lazy or not, because I do a lot of stuff. David hasn't done his own laundry, the dishes, or any yard work since we moved (actually I think he hasn't done his own laundry since he met me... anyway he doesn't really know what he's doing). That's not anything I mind, of course, because he works like a billion more hours than I do at a real job, so I'm happy to do laundry. Today I volunteered at a school with ADHD kids, pulled weeds, walked the dog, tutored for an hour and drove for 2 hours (that's Atlanta for you), made some Spanish flashcards, emailed some people, and watched a little TV. Oh and picked up and dropped off David at work, and did the dishes. It kind of feels like I do nothing though. Maybe it's because none of it really feels that important, except the volunteering. The kids at this school are pretty great. I learned one of them has autism, which I didn't realize, and it does explain some things. He's pretty much constantly swearing or talking about movies like Kung Fu Panda, and repeating other stuff that doesn't make a whole lot of sense, but he also hugs a lot. Actually I saw him hugging this little girl who also has autism and I thought that was so cute. Like, they understand each other. She likes to repeat the things she works on in speech therapy so she's always saying things like "Why do you go to the doctor? Because you get hurt" out of context and in a monotone with a vacant stare. She's pretty much always smiling though, and she seems happy. She also mostly realizes what is going on. I guess I am used to people with autism who just live in their own world and nothing really gets through. She'll answer you if you ask her a question. Sometimes I think ADD is like very mild autism in a way. They have found a genetic link for austism, so in 10-15 years maybe there will be some drugs for it. I know some people things drugs are bad, but I am 100% pro-medication for mental things. It's the only thing that really worked for me, but everyone made me feel so guilty about it, which sucks.
Anyway, I am now rambling, bu will try to write more. |
|
I caught a runaway robber for them. He was hiding under my house. One of the police officers said "I looked under there once." Well, apparently not well enough. Anyway, I saw the cops going around my property and I was asking them what was going on, they said they had a robbery and the guy (actually there are still 2 guys out there I think- I am listening to the police blotter, and I haven't heard anything about them being caught) had come this way, so I thought, well if I was running away I know where I'd hide, under the deck, so I looked and there was the guy giving me the shhh sign. Sorry dude but you were hiding on my property. Then I thought, I hope the basement door wasn't open because there are more places to hide in there, so I got a cop to come with me and look and I said, there's a crawl space under there, and he was too lazy to look in there. So potentially there is a guy hiding in my crawl space, but hey they can't get into the house from there, so I guess I'll let it be for now. I couldn't find a flashlight. Stupid cops. Also, I have chased my dog through the woods around here and I know lots of places they could hide, namely in the drainage ditch pipes and sewer pipes. Also they are too lazy to look there. Sigh. I hope no one ever tries to rob my house. |
|
news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/south_asia/7933538.stm
I like how they say they keep them fed on milk and roti (which is a flat Indian bread). Lucky rats.
|
| » I had a subject and I forgot it |
|---|
I thought there was something physically wrong with me- I had all the symptoms of hypothyroidism: fatigue, dry skin, weight gain, memory problems- but the blood tests show my thyroid is fine. So I guess it was all in my mind. I guess I need to deal with something. I think ever since grad school ended, I really lost my focus in life. I've been OK enough because I have David and he makes me happy, but while I enjoy running a household for us it's not enough. I need my own thing to get out of bed in the morning for. Otherwise, I just go back to bed and sleep another 3 hours. The nurse recommended excercise and water, which is probably a good idea.
I applied to this program at GSU that is a year-long certificate in Behavior and Learning Disabilities. I think it's a really interesting field- having worked in the public schools and experienced an alternative school setting growing up, and just wanting to do something for the kids who fall through the cracks. There are like a million private schools here in Atlanta that deal with various aspects of that, but of course not everyone can afford them. Working with behavior challenges requires a lot of social work skills plus it's something I could do as a private tutor as well so I can get much more money for it than if I was a social worker. I just haven't really figured it all out yet, but I have found some good books to read.
All of my tutor clients are on hold right now for various reasons (they are having troubles in their lives) so I am applying for jobs and volunteer positions. Also I am thinking about getting a dog because I need to get out of the house and excercise more, and the cat walks on a leash but it doesn't give me much excercise to walk him. It gets me a lot of comments though. Also a dog could learn more tricks than our cat, although our cat is pretty impressive. I don't think David wants a dog, but maybe he'll come around.
David has been working like 10 hours a day or more lately, although we just had last week as a vacation together. It was nice, but now he has to make up for all that lost time. Actually today he was sick so he came home early and slept a lot. I notice he almost always gets sick when he works insane hours, and usually it's not the catching kind of sick. I wish I worked more and he worked less and we had more balance. I really admire that he is so dedicated and important in his job that he can go in and work 60 hour weeks and everything. I miss feeling that dedicated to something. If your heart's not in it, then you can't work that much. I think I can make this tutoring business like that, but then I am pulled in lots of different directions on that too. I have trouble organizing and motivating myself. I think I need a life coach or something.
Feb. 11th, 2009 @ 01:06 am
|
| » I have an alter ego |
|---|
http://www.wrenfineart.com/neweb/home.htm
There is an artist named Heather Bray at the Wren Gallery, which is weird because not only does she have my birth name, but Wren was my great-grandmother's last name. And she was a painter too. I guess there are a lot of Brays and Wrens in England though. I want one of her paintings now :o)
Go to www.zoominfo.com and search for yourself and people you know, it's a good way to pass the time.
Jan. 16th, 2009 @ 08:44 am
|
| » New Blog |
|---|
http://frugalbarista.blogspot.com/
is my new blog about making yummy coffee at home for cheap. It's a great way to save money, and you can make your drinks just how you like them every time! Just say no to Starbucks. Of course, support your local cafe as much as possible :o)
Jan. 12th, 2009 @ 03:55 pm
|
| » Mystery Diagnosis |
|---|
|
TLC is having a marathon of "Mystery Diagnosis" which I can't stop watching. I am getting nothing done. I can't believe how dismissive all the doctors are. We don't know what it is, so it must be in your mind. Go home. It makes me angry. This show is like House, only real, and there is no Dr. House out there, just a bunch of dumb doctors who don't listen to their patients.
Dec. 31st, 2008 @ 01:50 pm
|
| » Dekalb County Seal |
|---|
This is apparently the seal of my new county:
 a better picture is located here as a PDF.
The following is from this blog, which pretty much summed up what I thought about my county's seal as well. What the hell? It's really disturbing. By the way the rest of his blog post is pretty funny as well.
"Section IV: Interpretation Of Seals
In searching for the DeKalb County, Illinois seal, I also found the county seal of DeKalb County, Georgia, which will serve as the subject of your examination. Choose any one of the following Essay Questions:
Essay Question #1: Convincingly describe and discuss the activity the two figures on the seal are pursuing.
Essay Question #2: Explain why a county in Georgia would depict a behavior on their official seal that most of us would have assumed was illegal in that state.
Essay Question #3: Now really, couldn’t you design a better seal than that?
Grading Key: Are you happy with your answer? Me too. Good work."
Dec. 12th, 2008 @ 09:12 am
|
| » hey |
|---|
OK, so I haven't written anything in 8 months, I know, I'm sorry- it's not like it's been that crazy but a lot of stuff has happened, and I guess I just talk to David when I would've blogged stuff before, which I think means we have a good marriage.
We live in Atlanta, GA now, with our cat, Tesla. I don't have the ratties anymore- I gave some of them to Lindsay but I think they're all gone now. They don't live very long, which is too bad. Our cat is cute though, and he's very smart. We've taught him to sit, speak, heel, and we're working on right paw and left paw. I got him to do right paw the other day on cue, but I don't think he knows the difference yet.
I will post some pictures of the house when I get a chance. We have a nice house down here. I spend way to much time in it, getting everything in order. Like right now I am waiting for a firepit set that David ordered on Cyber Monday.
I think I feel guilty and lucky since we are pretty well off right now, and most people aren't. I know what that is like, having gone from pretty much total poverty to where I am now. It wasn't just marrying a guy with a good-paying job that did it, although that helped. I switched industries, from Social Work to Education Services (#2 and #1 growing sectors of the economy, respectively, down here in GA); and David figured out how to cash out my annuity from when my mom died, which we used to buy the house. It is currently a great time to buy a house, of course. I want to start my own tutoring business eventually; I feel like the most help I could provide people would be to create some jobs, and train some people in a lucrative skill. Because, honestly, most social services agencies aren't as helpful as just getting someone a job. Of course, jobs are only useful to those with the skills and mental health to keep them, so there is usefulness in those services being provided. I know when I didn't have a job for several months, the lack of structure was very damaging to my self-esteem. You think you will get all these things done and enjoy yourself, but you spend the whole time wishing you had a stupid job. Well I am lucky to have been hired by a company in this economy, I will start in January or Feb, and in the meantime I am earning some money as a private tutor here and there. I really like being my own boss.
Dec. 8th, 2008 @ 12:40 pm
|
| » Ok this is crazy |
|---|
Goods for Girls provides reusable environmentally friendly menstrual products to girls in Kenya who have been trading sex for pads in order to stay in school. Crazyness. At least somebody is doing something to help. I can't even imagine what it's like to be a woman in another part of the world, the crap you have to put up with. Not that all the guys have it great either. Anyway, back to my mundane first-world problems now...
Apr. 24th, 2008 @ 12:20 pm
|
| » Shop locally |
|---|
Etsy-Shop Local
This is cool- there are lots of things on there I want. I want to be more crafty instead of buying everything from ShopKo.
Apr. 24th, 2008 @ 11:52 am
|
| » Happy birthday Earth! |
|---|
(Also happy birthday to Trent)
I have been amusing myself with http://green.yahoo.com/ today. It's got some good stuff and some really weird stuff. I like the eco geek pages.
Today I biked to the bus and took the bus to work (with some snags- the bus here is kind of ridiculous sometimes, but I'll try to stay positive). So I got my excercise & some sun and got some reading done. I'm reading Deep Economy by Bill McKibben, which so far is a pretty good book.
I wore my bamboo socks today, too. I like bamboo stuff.
Yesterday, we hooked up the Smart Strip to the evil giant TV and all it's accompanying devices, so that should help our energy consumption.
Apr. 22nd, 2008 @ 05:45 pm
|
| » free time |
|---|
So I have a lot of free time during the day at work. Any suggestions with something productive I could do? I have full use of a computer, radio, I could probably even read a book if I wanted to. I'm getting bored.
Apr. 10th, 2008 @ 10:14 am
|
| » rat babies! |
|---|
The one in front is Spot the one in the hammock is Data. They're from the same litter. They are keeping Frodo company and they all get along famously so far. The lady at the pet shop tried to tell me that the older rat would eat the babies but she was stupid.
Apr. 9th, 2008 @ 08:33 am
|
| » Sam |
|---|
Poor Sam the rat died last night- I have no idea why, he was fine the other day. I figure there's something toxic in my apartment so I took Frodo to David's house (don't tell his landlord...) Frodo had a swollen red eye too, I'm not sure if he's OK or not. I need to find someone to take care of Tigger for the next couple of months, too so if anyone wants to cat-sit for me, like at their house, I'd pay you or trade or something. She's kind of onery in a Siamese-cat way but she's all right once you give her treats.
Feb. 27th, 2008 @ 03:57 pm
|
| » Wind-Chill day! |
|---|
They cancelled school! Yay! That's the best. I really needed a day off, like crazy. Like I'm going crazy. I was gonna have a nervous breakdown. David says I need a weekend, I can't work 7 days a week, and he's right, but I'm not sure how to get out of that.
"See Dan, all those years everyone thought I was a bitch, but what I had was an opinionated blue-collar outlook" -Roseanne
Jan. 30th, 2008 @ 09:14 am
|
| » baking soda |
|---|
So I started a job as basically a glorified Starbucks' barista (don't worry I'm not selling out) in the Sheraton hotel. Their espresso machine is like idiot-proof because it grinds, packs and tamps the beans and pours the shot for you, although you do have to know a little bit about steaming milk (that is also pretty automated though too). I'm kind of dissapointed on the one hand because I wanted to show off my mad barista skills and make yummy shots (although I was dubious that can occur with Starbucks' beans) but I'm also relieved because everything will be easier. It's such an efficient setup, whereas 2 degrees was super labor intensive, but it was a labor of love. David says this is good because I can learn about how it's done on the more corporate level, and I can hopefully have a chance to finally perfect my latte-art ability (although we're required to put a lid on the cup before handing it off so no one sues us. Sigh.)
I've been kind of driving myself and everyone around me crazy lately, I think because I'm not challenged enough and when I'm left to my own devices I tend to challenge myself with how much can I get away with, rather than how can I be a better person. I think David is disappointed in me and that makes me sad. It's this whole Americorps job that I can't really deal with, although I'm up right now because my mind is trying to figure it all out. I have this weird relationship with all the adults I work with, probably because I don't really respect them. It was a harder transition for me than I thought going from basically Social Work School rock-star to lowly Americorps volunteer. I thought it would be good for me on some level, humbling or something, but in reality all it is is frustrating because I see it's a very slim chance I'll actually learn much of anything from this experience. It's not that I haven't tried to, but unfortunately what I'm learning is being poor sucks, money is a good motivator, and a lot of things I want in life require money. Feeling like I'm not useful also makes me depressed. And I need a boss who can challenge me while letting me have some autonomy, which isn't my current boss, who has no idea what the word autonomy means (really). I like the kids I tutor and everything but that's only like 5% of the job and the rest is stupid. I keep thinking I need a director to give me my motivation. Why am I doing this again? I don't really have a good internal way to do that for myself. I have goals and ambitions and I'm impatient. If I see no progress, I just slip into depression and don't do anything. Vacation was nice but I wish I could have come back to a different job.
Jan. 18th, 2008 @ 01:34 am
|
|
|
![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif){kind=small}
dragkingvenus's journal